Change of Scenery
I'm a military brat, I've moved many-a times in my life. Not as many as a lot of people I have known but every 3-5 years I've moved to a different place. When my parents came to Alaska, about 8 years ago now, they knew they had found their home. I felt differently. I love it here, I have so many great memories and have met some of my favorite people here and I am extremely grateful to have had been able to experience this truly unique place.
But I have to be honest with myself, this is not where I want to stay forever. I need a change of scenery. I'm not used to being in one place for so long. Yes, I have gotten out a couple of times to visit family, which I am not turning my nose up at in no way. I even got to go to England for a week when I was 14. But it was not enough, I wonder if it'll ever be enough. Has being a military brat conditioned me to have to soak up newness like a sponge? Or would I have been this way anyway? My parents seem so happy to be home and stay here whereas I feel like I'm sometimes drowning in the same old things. Traveling isn't impossible, I know that. There are plenty of resources on campus regarding just that, a whole office dedicated to getting out of here for a while. But I feel stuck, I feel that studying away isn't the best option for me at this point. I'm too adamant about graduating in Spring of 2018 that I don't want to do something that might jeopardize that. So I'm considering just waiting until graduate school to leave the state. I'm just afraid. I'm afraid of waiting and waiting and never leaving.
I'm afraid of not doing anything and getting stuck. More than that, I'm afraid of disappointing myself again with the hopes of leaving this place for a while. This summer, I was so excited to book a trip to Ireland for the the 2017 Spring Break but was sadly unable to go do to financial difficulties. I was so upset by this, I am now afraid to plan to leave out of fear that the plan will unravel and my hopes will be dashed once again. But still, I am trying to remain hopeful. I'm trying, very cautiously, to plan to visit my best friend in New York City. I'm trying to be smart about it now. I'm looking for flights, preparing where I'm going to stay and even planning on what exactly to do while in the big apple. I know that I can't plan it down to a "t" and ultimately life it going to alter the plan but I think I am ready for that. All I know is that I need a change, change of scenery, a new adventure even if it's just for a little while. Sometimes you just have to get away.
But I have to be honest with myself, this is not where I want to stay forever. I need a change of scenery. I'm not used to being in one place for so long. Yes, I have gotten out a couple of times to visit family, which I am not turning my nose up at in no way. I even got to go to England for a week when I was 14. But it was not enough, I wonder if it'll ever be enough. Has being a military brat conditioned me to have to soak up newness like a sponge? Or would I have been this way anyway? My parents seem so happy to be home and stay here whereas I feel like I'm sometimes drowning in the same old things. Traveling isn't impossible, I know that. There are plenty of resources on campus regarding just that, a whole office dedicated to getting out of here for a while. But I feel stuck, I feel that studying away isn't the best option for me at this point. I'm too adamant about graduating in Spring of 2018 that I don't want to do something that might jeopardize that. So I'm considering just waiting until graduate school to leave the state. I'm just afraid. I'm afraid of waiting and waiting and never leaving.
I'm afraid of not doing anything and getting stuck. More than that, I'm afraid of disappointing myself again with the hopes of leaving this place for a while. This summer, I was so excited to book a trip to Ireland for the the 2017 Spring Break but was sadly unable to go do to financial difficulties. I was so upset by this, I am now afraid to plan to leave out of fear that the plan will unravel and my hopes will be dashed once again. But still, I am trying to remain hopeful. I'm trying, very cautiously, to plan to visit my best friend in New York City. I'm trying to be smart about it now. I'm looking for flights, preparing where I'm going to stay and even planning on what exactly to do while in the big apple. I know that I can't plan it down to a "t" and ultimately life it going to alter the plan but I think I am ready for that. All I know is that I need a change, change of scenery, a new adventure even if it's just for a little while. Sometimes you just have to get away.
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